A BLAST from the past

In honour of its release this week, because I have already reviewed it and because it’s still just as horribly entertaining on the small screen. I have decided to do a special feature about The Expendables, in the form of a quick look back at my favourite moments of the stars not so glittery past.

Sylvester Stallone:
The man of the moment and the reason this movie exists, He created this monster as part of his insane resolve to revive former glory. Just look at Rock Balboa and Rambo, both of which were supposed to transport you back to the old days of Sly’s career. However this is a whole different kettle of fish, The Expendables pulls together allies from his time with more up to date action stars, gives them a story and a script that is straight out of the eighties, mixes the lot together with gratuitous but so bad its good violence to complete a very entertaining film. His finest moment however was of course Rocky, never since has Sylvester Stallone ever flexed more acting muscle than when he played down on his luck south paw Rocky Balboa (In the first one, he became a parody of himself almost instantly after). Never has the big guy ever been so vulnerable and that’s what makes him so loveable (hey that rhymed!).

Jason Stathem:
Despite the actors choices he’s still very likeable, the popular choice may be The Transporter or the crazy Crank movies (they show what he’s become big for). My choice however is Lock, Stock and Snatch; I say both because it’s hard to choose between them. In Lock Stock he was the straight talking hard man of a bunch mates in the deep end. His character in Snatch could have been the same character set a little further in the future, Turkish is one of the most quotable characters in the film and he plays him to perfection. Never has a life of an un-licensed boxing manager looked so cool!

Jet Li:
This guy has never been known for his acting and I would say we haven’t really seen enough of his acting chops to judge him on that front. He does however kick ass extremely well, in the Expendables he’s used as a butt of a joke and he plays it well. For me one of the best films he’s done was Romeo must Die, taking on numerous bad guys using a fire hose: Fantastic!

Dolph Lundgren:
To say that this mans best moment wasn’t playing Ivan Drago would be very wrong so I’m not doing that. The Russian “Machine” labelled “Death from above” in the movie is a tower of muscle and foreboding. There’s not much acting needed for the role but you sure as hell believe he could kick ten tonnes of crap out Sylvester Stallone. Let’s face it he does also kill Apollo Creed, help make Universal Soldier cool and has some great moments in The Expendables.

Mickey Rourke:
Bringing the acting chops to The Expendables was Come-back king Mickey Rourke, putting enough conviction into the role to make a believable character in an un-believable film. His greatest moment for me, its clichéd but I have never seen the guy act as well as he did in the Wrestler.

Steve Austin:
Short but sweet but this guys best moments were saved for the square circle!

Bruce Willis:
Again Short but sweet, but the first Die Hard wins hands down. Although he has since proved his a much more versatile actor, he does make some bad choices in regards to his career.

I know very little about the other Expendables and need to get on with some writing that I’m very behind on. So hope you enjoyed reading.

Death Race

The Stath one not the Sly one

Lover: Taken from IMDB
"I was shocked at how much fun this movie was. Terrible reviews, of course. I went hesitantly, but had seen everything else, and desperately needed a cinema break from work. This was over-the-top mayhem, and pure adrenaline, and pure enjoyment! Note I am a bloke, so I cannot speak for the ladies, but the ones in my cinema audience seemed to be enjoying themselves.As you have no doubt heard, it is a frentically paced film. And, given all the action, which usually only bores me, I was surprised to find it was a hoot. A screaming hoot!Two of things this movie did showed a lot of subtlety and a very deft touch on the director's part. One, it did not take itself too seriously, and was not as grim as you might think. Two, it never descended into "camp." It was not winking at us, nor playing anything for laughs. And yet one must throw logic and plausibility out the window as well. Maybe one could say it was a "down to earth" fantasy? I don't know how the director did it--- as I thought about it, I marvelled at how difficult that must have been.A perfect balance of excitement, mayhem, fun, thrills, and even a happy ending! Wow! Go see it, you'll be grateful for it if you do."

I would agree at saying this was a perfectly balanced film but definitely not for everyone. its plain dumb vehicular mayhem that should impress a certain male crowd of a certain age. It has no depth and fairly brainless and predictable set pieces but fun all the same.


Hater: Taken from IMDB

"When you know you're going to see another pointless action movie, and you know it will have little to no redeeming value minus the action, and it STILL sucks, the problem has to be the action.From start to finish, the movie was bland and boring. I wanted to leave after the first 5 minutes as it was, and after that it was like sitting through one of those bad documentaries at school for the other 2 hours. The action was predictable and just downright boring, generic, and pathetic. Add to that the utterly ridicules dialogue scenes that told you things you already know from the credits mixed with clichés from every single action movie ever freaking made, and it felt like I was watching a made-for-TV drama, not an action movie. You've seen this movie before. Hundreds of times.The acting, as well, was horrid. The chick they got to play the cliché "bad prison woman" reminded me of Martha Stewart . . . dumbed down and made even more cliché than the real woman. At one point when a "bad man" character came on screen I had to say:"Look, it's Mr. Evil!" as he cackled with his huge nose casting a cliché shadow. Everything that could have been menacing in this film was laughable.There is no more blood in this movie than PG-13 fares like Cloverfield, and it wasn't as violent as the PG-13 The Dark Knight. Every scene was a cut-off scene without anything graphic happening, and at some points even the fist fights were cut-off scenes. I cannot think of any movie with "violence" as utterly pathetic as this one. It barely earned its R-rating through a minimal amount of blood, and the rest was PG all the way.I do not know why anyone would find anything in this entertaining. There was maybe a couple action scenes, and the rest was your mother's cliché TV drama. Am I the only one who wishes action movies were, you know, action-packed anymore?"

I agree with this review to, when you look at the trailer and the poster for this movie it gives you the impression your seeing a 18 rated action movie. the end product is a lot further and apart from some interesting word use and a little blood its no where near as graphic as you would imagine.

What I thought:
Death Race was a one time forgettable movie that i wont be watching again, it was fun for the first time i watched it but that's it. Fairly forgettable nonsense in the end. The original was great if a little camp, Paul W.S. Anderson's is what you would imagine from this director. Big Dumb Fun that you'll only need to see once.

The Buzz 10/08/10

The "Stath" remakes the mechanic.

The man behind Kick Ass is unhappy with comic book movies? ah?

Torchwood Rebooted?

yay, cloverfield sequel!