Red

Still a whole lot a life in these old legs!

Lover: Taken from IMDB
“I can't even begin to describe how funny this movie is. Helen Mirran, especially, was excellent, with her deadpan lines: "I kill people, dear." Hilarious! John Malkovich played a very believable nutcase, making the whole theater crack up laughing almost every time he appeared on screen. I haven't seen any of Bruce Willis' 'Die Hard' movies, but he should do more funny ones; he definitely has the knack for it. Karl Urban was AWESOME...that man can play ANY role! Every single actor was perfect in their role, and this movie didn't disappoint at all, it stayed interesting for every single minute. If anyone is unsure about seeing this movie, PLEASE don't hesitate, it's worth every penny!”

It is worth every penny and it is very funny, you might not find as much to laugh at as this person clearly did though.

Hater: Taken from IMDB
“What a disappointment! I still try to wrap my head around the fact that a director (Robert Schwentke) who has great actors like Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich and Helen Mirren and a sufficient budget at his disposal is able to produce such an utterly crap..Pardon my french!! So what went wrong? I dare to say almost everything: Stiff and lifeless acting, lame jokes and a horrible soundtrack. If you watched the trailer then you have already seen the best parts! I highly doubt that anyone with a brain is able to enjoy the story let alone the whole movie. Directing a movie isn't an easy thing to do and that is one of the reasons why there are only a few people on this planet who are able to master this craft. Clearly Robert Schwentke isn't one of them!”

A real battering for the director here with no real points made! Red is great fun and is very funny in places but more likely to cause giggles than guffaws.

What I thought:

I loved Red, compared to the very similar movies that came out this year; The A Team (over baked story), The Losers (over baked characters) or The Expendables (Just over baked!). This men (and the queen) on a mission is so much fun it seems hard to believe anyone wouldn’t enjoy it!?

Bruce Willis brings out his more sarcastic wise cracking version of himself and he plays it so well! Really likeable character and you really route for him from the moment you realize he’s been chatting up the girl at the pensions place because he’s clearly lonely. The film is full of moments that will at least put a smile on your face, if just for scenes involving Willis. The chemistry is great and all of the so called ageing cast are superb, Morgan Freeman getting a sly look at a nurse behind, John Malkovich batting a grenade out of the air and of course, Helen Mirren.

How can you not like a film that has Helen Mirren shooting a gun!? To kill!? A person!? Its brilliant and she treats the role like she would any other and plays it with real conviction. The action is fantastic and well done, with Karl Urban getting his “Ass handed to him” by Bruce Willis in an office being the stand out for me. The most important thing about Red though is the casting, such talent supposedly too old for these kind of roles, proving there’s still life in these old legs.

A BLAST from the past

In honour of its release this week, because I have already reviewed it and because it’s still just as horribly entertaining on the small screen. I have decided to do a special feature about The Expendables, in the form of a quick look back at my favourite moments of the stars not so glittery past.

Sylvester Stallone:
The man of the moment and the reason this movie exists, He created this monster as part of his insane resolve to revive former glory. Just look at Rock Balboa and Rambo, both of which were supposed to transport you back to the old days of Sly’s career. However this is a whole different kettle of fish, The Expendables pulls together allies from his time with more up to date action stars, gives them a story and a script that is straight out of the eighties, mixes the lot together with gratuitous but so bad its good violence to complete a very entertaining film. His finest moment however was of course Rocky, never since has Sylvester Stallone ever flexed more acting muscle than when he played down on his luck south paw Rocky Balboa (In the first one, he became a parody of himself almost instantly after). Never has the big guy ever been so vulnerable and that’s what makes him so loveable (hey that rhymed!).

Jason Stathem:
Despite the actors choices he’s still very likeable, the popular choice may be The Transporter or the crazy Crank movies (they show what he’s become big for). My choice however is Lock, Stock and Snatch; I say both because it’s hard to choose between them. In Lock Stock he was the straight talking hard man of a bunch mates in the deep end. His character in Snatch could have been the same character set a little further in the future, Turkish is one of the most quotable characters in the film and he plays him to perfection. Never has a life of an un-licensed boxing manager looked so cool!

Jet Li:
This guy has never been known for his acting and I would say we haven’t really seen enough of his acting chops to judge him on that front. He does however kick ass extremely well, in the Expendables he’s used as a butt of a joke and he plays it well. For me one of the best films he’s done was Romeo must Die, taking on numerous bad guys using a fire hose: Fantastic!

Dolph Lundgren:
To say that this mans best moment wasn’t playing Ivan Drago would be very wrong so I’m not doing that. The Russian “Machine” labelled “Death from above” in the movie is a tower of muscle and foreboding. There’s not much acting needed for the role but you sure as hell believe he could kick ten tonnes of crap out Sylvester Stallone. Let’s face it he does also kill Apollo Creed, help make Universal Soldier cool and has some great moments in The Expendables.

Mickey Rourke:
Bringing the acting chops to The Expendables was Come-back king Mickey Rourke, putting enough conviction into the role to make a believable character in an un-believable film. His greatest moment for me, its clichéd but I have never seen the guy act as well as he did in the Wrestler.

Steve Austin:
Short but sweet but this guys best moments were saved for the square circle!

Bruce Willis:
Again Short but sweet, but the first Die Hard wins hands down. Although he has since proved his a much more versatile actor, he does make some bad choices in regards to his career.

I know very little about the other Expendables and need to get on with some writing that I’m very behind on. So hope you enjoyed reading.

The Buzz: 08/11/10

The Toxic Avenger?

Vue Cinemas being SOLD

New Technology to catch the pirates

Bruce Willis in new heist movie with Paul Walker and Fiddy Cent!

Surrogates

Great idea, bad execution


Lovers: Taken from IMDB

“The core scene in this movie is the one where the unHoly trinity carve things out."I played the 'only begotten son' card." "I, too, played the 'only begotten son' card." "Ah, so you, too, have realised that, in this game, that gets you total world domination for two thousand years?" "No, you bastard, I loved *my* son." And meanwhile the ice maiden who is also becoming-mother looks on in horrified fascination. What? Was I the only one who got that? I vote for Bruce & Milla. A bloke who'll take it on the chin and love his kids and the flesh & blood version of his wife, and a girl who'll get the job done and then hurry home to gestate .Or maybe I vote we play a better game.”


well, not clear what they are going on about. Maybe I wasn’t paying attention…

Haters: Taken from IMDB

“Well folks, after years of waiting it's finally arrived - a movie that consists entirely of plot holes. The movie begin with an utterly implausible premise (most people live their lives through robotic avatars - what, everyone? Even poor people?) and just goes downhill from there. This is an insult to the intelligence on an epic scale. The only good thing that I can say about it is that it was only an hour and a half long, but it's an hour and a half of my life that I'll never get back. It's really the most awfully shocking drivel. The exec who green-lit this steaming pile of donkey dung should be taken out and shot, and then brought back to life and shot again.”

Ok, only really one point made here and it’s a plot hole? Actually he should watch the film again it’s not a plot hole at all. It’s never implied that “everyone” is living through the surrogates and presumably most of the poor people are in with the rebel types?

What I thought:

It’s like every film of its sort, think i-robot or minority report, future sci fi, paranoia and conspiracy. More often than not they are all sadly predictable and all end in the same manner. Surrogates is no change to the norm and it’s not even that fun to watch. You know its bad when the only impressive thing on screen is the effect of making Bruce Willis look 20 years younger, it’s utterly convincing. I mean if I want to see that though I’ll watch Die Hard or something not this.

There's only really one decent set piece in what is painted as an action movie and no real suspense. That again is a shame as the idea is great and with facebook and other social network sites becoming the only way a lot of people communicate, it does ring true in a sense. Any higher purpose though is forgotten and it tries to be a thriller without the thrills. However some people may get a kick out of the concept and checking out Bruce circa 1988.